Single parents

August 12, 2017 17:51 | Problems Of Infancy

Do I need a divorce? Parents who intend to divorce, often ask the doctor what is best for children: a divorce for the sake of the world, or keep the family together, despite the discord?Of course, no single answer to this question can not be.It all depends on the cause of the divorce and whether parents are able to resolve differences.

just say that when there is no agreement between the parents, each believes that the other is guilty.But stranger usually sees that it's not the fault of the husband or wife, and that each of them are not aware of their behavior.In one case, each spouse subconsciously want to be spoiled, pampered as a child, rather than contribute to a lasting relationship.In another - domineering spouse is not aware of how to subjugate others, but the one who is subordinate may himself to blame.In the case of infidelity is often an adulterer is not really falling in love with someone else, and seeks to escape from the secret fear or subconsciously trying to get jealous of the other spo

use.If the husband, the wife or both spouses are willing to make the effort to save the marriage, an experienced psychiatrist, social worker, or a wise and tolerant priest can help them understand the causes of their troubles.

Let the child remain faithful to both. Just how divorce would deprive the child's safety consciousness, depends on how the divorce is carried out.Once parents have decided the child necessarily have to say about it.Children always suffer from family troubles, especially if they are kept secret.It is important that children understand: 1) although parents and break up, children continue to belong to both of them and will always be able to see them on a regular basis;2) we can not say that a bad parent, and the other good.That is the right of parents to perform the most difficult.So a human being to believe that the other is guilty, and want the children to share your opinion.For a child badly to make sure that one of his parents bad.The child in the family divided just need to believe in both parents, as well as in happy.But there is another danger - even for parents who pulled the child to his side.When the child reaches a certain age, usually adolescent, his feelings to close people are changing, and then he can completely change your attitude and go to the other side.In other words, each parent more likely to keep the love and respect for the child, if the child is never forced to get on someone's side.

How to explain to a child that the divorce to be?It all depends on the child's age and the fact that he wants to learn.The mother of a young child may say to him: "Your father too much quarrel and fight, like you and Peter Jenkins.So we decided that while we should not live in the same house.But dad is your dad, and I'm still your mother. "This explanation is at the level of a small child, who knows well that such quarrels and fights.A child older want to learn more.I would answer his questions, but would try not to blame anyone.

argue is not a shame.Parents who have a lot of disagreements, often try to hide their disputes from children and even imagine that the children do not notice anything.Of course, it is better to argue fiercely in the absence of children, but the error is to assume that they do not notice the tension in the family.If the child suddenly finds the scene of the dispute, better parents humanly admit that they quarreled than subside suddenly and severely to order the child to leave the room.The atmosphere of the discharge, if you recognize that the debate - it is one of the realities of life that people can quarrel and at the same time continue to love and respect each other, that the quarrel does not mean end of the world.

arrange a meeting for the sake of the child. As will be organized meetings with both the child's parents, it depends on the circumstances.If the parents live close to each other, and if the children most of the time with: the mother, it is best to visit his father on weekends and holidays, when he can spend time with them.Will go through these visits once a week or once a year - always better to be regular, and it is important that their father did not miss and do not delay.

Treaty that a child spends six months of the year with her mother and six - with his father, usually to no good does not.This interferes with daily schoolwork, permanently separated from the other parent and creates in children a sense that their lives arbitrarily severed in two.

Error - meticulously ask the child that was with him the other parent or the other parent of the blame.It only makes the child feel uncomfortable with both parents.In the end, the child may resent and dislike suspicious parent.

In all cases, but especially if the parents can not agree on visits or if the child does not want to attend one of them, it is useful to consult a child psychiatrist on how to better organize a child's life, and not to fight for custody of him like a dog forbone.