jealousy among older children .
Jealousy is inevitable, and if it is not very strong, it helps children to grow tolerant, independent and generous.
In general, the better the relationship between parents and children, the less jealousy.When each child is satisfied with the love of parents, he has less reason to be angry because of the attention to his brothers and sisters.
The main thing that makes the child feel safe in the family, it is the knowledge that his parents love and accept this for what it is: a boy or a girl, intelligent or not, beautiful or ugly.If the parents are compared with his brothers and sisters, openly or in thought, he feels it, feels miserable and angry with their parents and other children.
Tired mother who is trying to cope with the jealousy of his boys can say, "Jackie, here's the Fire Engine.And you, Tommy, exactly the same. "But one of the boys, instead of being satisfied, suspiciously looks at a toy another in search of differences.Mother's words reminded them of the competition.It seemed to say, "I bo
fewer comparisons, laudable and not between brothers and sisters, the better.If you say, "Why are you not as polite as your sister" - thus make you dislike her sister, mother and the very idea of politeness.And if you're talking teenage girl: "Do not worry, you do not have dates, like Barbara.You're much smarter than her, and this is important "- you do not help her feel better.
If children can fend for themselves, a better mother as little as possible to intervene in their disputes and fights.If she finds out who is to blame, it makes at least one of the fighters feel jealousy.More or less, but all the kids are fighting out of jealousy, the desire to win the preference of parents.If she starts to find out who is right and who is wrong, if it takes sides, it encourages children to fight again.One hopes this time to entice parents to his side, and see how other abuse.If mothers need to interrupt the fight to save the child from serious harm, or to prevent an obvious injustice, or restore desired her silence, she should just ask them to stop, not to listen to their arguments, did not wake up no matter which side (if not obvious,who is to blame), move on to other matters and forget the incident.In one case, it strongly suggests a compromise, in other - something distracting, switching it to a new occupation.