Can you spoil the child? This question arises quite naturally, if a child in the first weeks of not sleeping peacefully between feedings, and whimpers.You take it in his hands and start to wear;he stops crying - at least for a while.But it is necessary to put it, he was crying again.I do not think you have to worry about cost very spoiled in the first one or two months.It is a good chance that the child has a sore tummy or he overexcited.If it feels better in your hand, perhaps it is because the movement of distraction or pressure on the stomach to temporarily relieve pain.If you later decide that it is too spoiled, to the age of 4-5 months, the child is not difficult to re-educate.
to three months need to be careful.For three months in most cases, the former causes of crying - colic, tension - disappear.(Very few children have colic until four or five months.) You suddenly notice that the child is no longer wake up with cramps or with expanded belly.The child, who has been a regular bouts of crying,
There are other ways to pamper the child in the middle or second half of the first year, which can not ignore the mother herself.
If the parents of the child being entertained too.Partly spoiled occurs when the mother (or father, or grandmother) so glad the child most of the time, when he sleeps, plays with him, carrying his arms, dancing with him, throws him on his knees, playing Okay, makeshis laugh.(All these are engaged in a bit.) Gradually the child unlearn amuse yourself.And when left alone, feeling abandoned, he was bored, and he cries, demanding attention.What started as fun for the mother, it is hard work.
Parents who are too easily give way.If the mother is willing to take the child in his arms, he is pohnykat, then after a few months, she discovers that all the time he demands to be worn.If the mother continues to give the child understands that poor tired mother under his heel, and is becoming more demanding and despotic.At heart, the mother can not help but resent the child gets it is not nice.However, this feeling makes her feel guilty, and she does not know what to do.
Some cases spoiled.Why spoiled children grow some parents?First of all, as is often the case with the first child, and almost all first children are more spoiled.For most of the first child - the most wonderful in the world of toys.If a man can absorb the new car, and a woman fur coat, it is easy to understand that the child can absorb in the months ahead.But joy is not the only factor.Parents usually all their hopes and fears projected onto the first-born.It plays a role and a new sense of responsibility for the safety and happiness of helpless creatures.Crying baby for you - a powerful call to do something.With a second child you have more self-confidence and ability to realistically assess the situation.Did you know that the child needed for his benefit in something and refuse, and do not feel guilty at heart, when you know that right.
But some parents spoil the children more than others - for example, parents who have had to wait for a child for a long time, and they were afraid that they do not have children;parents who are not very confident that become willing slaves of the child and expect from him that he would do all that they were not able to;parents who have studied child psychology or working professionally with children in college - they believe that they must prove their abilities (in fact, deal with difficult child when familiar with the theory);parents who are ashamed to be angry with the child and try to make amends by agreeing to all its requirements;parents who get angry, hearing a baby crying, and find unbearable tension.
Whatever the reason, all such parents are willing to sacrifice their comforts and privileges, to give the child everything he asks for.It's not so bad, if the child's demands are reasonable.But the child does not understand what is good for him.In his nature to expect guidance from the parents.It calms him.When parents are hesitant child also feels anxiety.If they grab it, it is worth it squeak like to leave it lying would be terrible - he too begins to feel that it's terrible.And the more they are subject to its requirements, the more demanding it becomes.(The man at any age is becoming more demanding with respect to the one who humbly submits to him.)
How to get rid of the spoiled? The sooner you put a problem, the easier it is to resolve.But it takes a great willpower and firmness.To properly tune, remind yourself that eventually excessive demands and dependency on you child is more harmful than you.Spoiled would make him unpleasant to himself and to the world.Therefore, if you try to fix it for his own good.
Make a schedule for yourself - if necessary, on paper - which would provide to you most of the time when the baby is awake, were busy working on the house.Do this work with a busy and worried look to make an impression on the child - and yourself, too.When a child begins to whimper and pull your hands to explain to him kindly, but firmly, that you have a job and that it must be done right now.Words he does not understand, but understands the tone of voice.Carry out their work.The first hour of the first day will be the most difficult.Some children accept their change easier, if at first rarely see my mother and she rarely talks to them.This helps them to do something else.Others get used quickly if they see mom and hear how she talks to them, although it does not take arms.When you bring a baby toy or decide that you can play around with it a bit, sit down next to him on the floor.Let climbs on your lap, if he wants to, but do not start to walk again with him in her arms.If you are with him on the floor, he can crawl, when you realize that you have it at hand will not take.If you still take him in his arms, he starts to protest loudly as soon as you try to put it.If he continues to whine, no matter how much you sit next to him on the floor, get yourself some work and engage it.
chronic unwillingness baby to go to sleep - "fall asleep in his arms." This difficulty is developing quickly.In most cases, are the primary cause of colic or regular grumpy crying.We can assume it is a form of spoiled.The baby was suffering from colic first two or three months every evening.Mother found that it is easier, when she wears it in her arms.She, too, so feels better.But three or four months, she begins to realize that the child is no longer sick - he now crying angry and demanding.He wants to be worn on the hands, because I'm used to it and consider it their right.When the mother sits down to rest a bit, he glares at her as if to say: "Woman, work!".
child that night demanded that his mother bore him in her arms, teaches himself to sleep after all - at 9, 10, 11 and even at midnight.My mother says that when she wears it, he closed his eyes and lowered his head, but it's worth it to try to put it, he wakes up with an indignant cry.
related difficulties falling asleep exhausted and the child and the parents.The child becomes irritable during the day, it can get worse appetite.Parents are also more tired and irritated.The child seems to be can not behave this way every night.Parents understand that, but do not know what to do.Even a child, it seems to me, that the tyranny of the tires.
This habit is easier to remove if at least one parent is aware that it is just as harmful to the child, as well as for mom and dad.The tool is simple: put the child to bed at a reasonable hour, gently but firmly, to wish him good night, leave the room and come back.Most children who have developed a habit of this, the first night much the first 20-30 minutes of crying, and then, when they see that they do not work, suddenly fall asleep.The second night they were crying about 10 minutes on the third dispense entirely without crying.
compassionate difficult for parents to hear the baby crying.They imagined the worst: he stuck his head between the bars cribs that he vomited and he lay in the mud, that he is afraid of being alone.Judging by the speed with which children wean from the habit, according to how they are happier when get rid of it, I conclude that they are at this age only cry with rage.It is important not to go on tiptoe to see how he was, or to convince him that you are about it do not forget
If some nights crying disturbed the other children or incense neighbors, mute the sound, the bed on the floor quilt and the veil of another blanket box.It's amazing how much sound absorbing soft surface.
Sometimes disgruntled neighbors should explain what was going on, to assure them that you need only a few nights, and ask them to be more tolerant.
child waking up at night. In this case, the child goes to bed early and sleep like an angel, but he has the habit of regularly wake up in the middle of the night.Sometimes it starts with a severe cold or ear infection;in this case, the child does wake up with pain or discomfort.The next night the parents immediately run to him when they hear it whining, even if the cold has passed.Sometimes, the child starts to wake up, when he is teething.It seems to me that all the children, like their parents, often half-awake at night to change posture.If a child is raised in this case, he apparently did not learn to wake up halfway and all the way to have some fun.
If the parents do not know how to put an end to this, the child can learn to wake up not once but several times, each time staying awake longer and longer, and meet the fierce cry attempts to get him.I've seen cases where the parents of three to four hours every night go with a baby in her arms.It is even more tiring and annoying, and the child and the mother than the reluctance to go to bed.
In most cases, treatment is very simple.The child must understand that will not achieve anything, waking and crying.Usually this can be done for 2-3 nights, allowing him to cry and not up to him.The first night he will cry for 20-30 minutes (you will seem that much longer), the second night - 10 minutes, and the third will not cry at all.
My experience recommends a further precaution.A child should not see the parents, when he wakes up.If he sees them, even when they pretend to be asleep, he gets angry and gets a stimulus for more loud and indignant crying.It is necessary to put him to sleep in another room
, separately from their parents, at least for a few nights until he is finished with a bad habit, no matter how inconvenient it may be.If it is absolutely impossible to put a screen or hang a curtain, so that the child did not see you.Read the previous section on the other proposals.
spoiled child may vomit. Some children vomit when they get angry.The mother usually begins to worry and displays it externally: rushes to clean the baby, trying to be kinder to him, quickly drew the attention of the child, when he burst into tears the next time.The child learns this lesson and next time try to intentionally induce vomiting when angry.Besides vomiting starts to scare him, because his mother is frightened.I think the mother is safer to treat vomiting, if the child uses it to achieve their demands.If she tries to overcome his reluctance to go to bed, you need to continue to pursue his own and do not give up.And then you can remove when the child falls asleep.