The phenomenon of bonding - a basis of harmony

August 12, 2017 17:51 | Miscellaneous About Parenting

Imagine yourself being imply a supernatural, man alters the nature of their understanding.He created the science and became only trust her, ceasing to trust nature.Throughout the evolution of life on earth debugged mechanisms of growth and development of a living being, which led to the emergence of a reasonable person.And this man crosses the existing laws in favor of its speculative conclusions.This is especially reflected in children.Terms of gestation, birth and early infancy seems designed to prepare them for life elsewhere, but not in the world and among the people.Science announced the pregnancy disease, science, isolated woman in childbirth by family, science has decided that a child is safer without a mother immediately after birth, science in general is no longer regarded as a complete human newborn.The same science gives us a lot of advice, what should we do with our "unfinished" child.No need to rely on the fact that there is even a parental instinct in animals.It replaces the now science.And

it is not surprising that each animal "knows" what to do with her cub, and enlightened man raising children books.

natural approach is repelled from the bonding phenomenon.Bonding - is the invisible link between the child and his mother, so that they and after childbirth remain one.Bonding - this is so that the mother can understand the language of the child, that it fills for each specific content it clumsy gesture, grimace, every sound is emitted.The mother must "know" her baby, she should "know" their needs and condition.And she "knows" it is by bonding.

"Bonding gives an intuitive, extrasensory kind of relationship between mother and child Bonding -. This process is a sense that is not discursive thought, language or intelligence.".

George C. Pearce cites the following examples of the wonderful bonding that allow to understand what is at stake: "In my book" The magic baby, "I told the American mother Jane McKellar, who watched newborns in Uganda worn with straps around the parent. breast Diaper not used and, since the infants were always clean, Jane asked the mothers how they manage urinary and intestinal bowel movement "We just go into the bushes," -. answered the mother, but as Jane asked, do you know when a tiny infant.? should be in the bushes astonished mothers replied: "But how do you know when you need to go to the bushes?" The mother Guatemala also carry their newborns in the same way, and if the infant is still wets his mother after two or three days, a woman is considered stupidand a bad mother. "

Bonding - this is not something that can be taught.It can only do so it has taken place or not."Bonding, however, is a biological process. It involves a direct, physical connection between our brain and our middle-beating heart."

fact bonding arises from the beginning of pregnancy.The woman bears a child is not easy.In it there are changes that allow it to carry out the function of motherhood.Feelings are exacerbated, intellectually dull activity, enhanced intuitive perception.Emotion and intuition - these are the tools that allow you to feel the child to understand his needs.bonding relationships are formed, if the mother naturally follows all the changes taking place in it, and accepts them.This is the time when you need to withdraw into himself, into her pregnancy, in their children.This period of hitherto unknown sensations, strange dreams, confusing signals.The woman is no longer just a woman.She becomes a mother.

Any abuse of this process, rejection of change, striving to live the outer life, intelligent overload-all this violates the establishment of bonding.The child, being not yet born, already deprived of a mother ....How many today in the maternal belly hatched street children.Because mothers are full of everyday worries, moms are working moms have their own interests, mothers once even remember that there is vigorous, demanding their attention to the most basic of life in the womb.

Births first minutes and hours of baby's life - especially important time to establish bonding.nature provided by its natural course automatically leads to this.Here we note two factors - the state of the mother during labor (largely determined by the conditions in which she gives birth) and the satisfaction of basic needs of the child at birth and immediately after birth.

During labor the mother is in an altered state of consciousness, which in normal circumstances, at a certain psychological preparation and a positive attitude, has the nature of peak experience that can greatly transform the perception of the world.At this time it is activated, it can be called intuitive consciousness.Child support this process in the mother's blood throwing large amounts of hormones.The nature of this peak experience is very essential to establish bonding.The shock caused by the delivery conditions in the current maternity and psychological unpreparedness, often leads to imprinting childbirth as a negative experience and as a result, to the weakening of the bonding.A significant role is played almost mandatory use of drugs in violation of the hormonal balance and the natural course of the process.

extremely important first minutes of life of the baby, who had just passed through the circles of hell birth and plunge into this frightening and confusing world."For a kid the world -. His frightening variety, a huge vault with a small mind traveler ... birth - a thunderstorm, hurricane And the child -. Impatient wreck, destroy, absorbed by the rapid influx of sensations that he can not recognize."He requires assistance, protection.Who better to do this?Of course, mother.Clutching it to his chest, it is partially returns the old conditions of existence.Maternal warmth, her heartbeat to soothe the baby, giving it a sense of security.

mother delivers the baby so-called contact-comfort, having great importance for the whole of his later life.This contact-comfort - the primary source of positive emotions.The feeling of comfort and security that comes from the mother -nemalovazhny factor establish bonding.

After the birth of his catfish-gosensornaya system must be activated.In many animals, it is reached the mother licking her newly born cubs.Rutman EM and NV Iskoldsky noted that "significant behavioral and emotion arise from the fact that the somatosensory system (like any other), being deprived of a normal pulse flows, becomes abnormally excitable."Also: "... it is skin-muscular sensations in the first period after birth are the main source of impressions, in which the world is represented by the young, and the main source of positive emotions."Contact with the mother provides the "normal pulse inflow".Breaking this first contact - means to destroy the bonding.

Today hurricane birth for the newborn is replaced by the new hurricane - early pinching the umbilical cord, a bright light bulb, slaps on the buttocks in order to cause the cry, rough suction fluid from the nose and mouth, stretching to measure growth, etc. Instead of feeling maternal skin rubber gloves..obstetrician, cotton, removes vernix.And just in diapers.In the stillness.Without the mother.

bonding relationships encourage the mother to feel and satisfy the physical needs of the child, which is a condition of its development.The need for love and affection, the need for maternal warmth - one of the most important.Surprisingly it looks today a mother tormented by doubts - to take or not to take the child to bed, stuffed with nonsense about "improper sexual education".

Bonding - an important condition for the formation of positive personality traits."Attachment to the mother - a necessary phase in the normal mental development of children, in the formation of their personalities It contributes to the development of such social emotions like gratitude, tenderness and warmth in the relationship, that is, everything that is a manifestation of true human qualities.."

However, we must distinguish relations bonding and attachment easy.Attachment of the child and the mother, there in any case, bonding - no.Bonding - something more than affection."When affection is not perceived subtle or intuitive signals that precede the physical event, but always realized after the fact."Bonding - the ability to flow with events on predictive, proactively level.Affection - an attempt to analyze and predict the probability."Bonding uses attachment as well as the reasonableness of the use of the intellect."

relationship between mother and child during early infancy is a imprinted in the child model of its future relations with the whole reality.Meeting the love, attention to their needs, the satisfaction of their natural needs, the child learns to perceive the world as our home.If you love him, he learns that love.If you feel it needs, he learns to feel the needs of others.Perceiving confident mother, he gets a sense of security, and with it formed self-confidence in their capabilities.If the natural child's needs are not being met, if he does not meet with enough love, if he ever transmitted anxiety and uncertainty mother, he learns to perceive the world as something cold, blind to his needs, hostile, dangerous, unpredictable, which can never be somethingsure.This world - a bad house, it is necessary to survive, to achieve the most basic, life - it is a struggle for existence.

"Since numerous data suggest that it was from the early experience depends largely on the development of the brain, we can assume: the ratio in early childhood, positive and negative emotions affect on what is in" the following ratio of neural structures, the commanders of those and other emotions.Something like learning the joy and pleasure ... sufficiently developed at an early age fun structures to prevent too strong a further development of structures of fear and aggression ... "- note Rutman EM and NV Iskoldsky." Brain structureobspechivayuschie state of pleasure, and structures associated with the state of rage, fear, and depression, are antagonistic, are on the "either-or".

only bonding relationship lays the foundations of ecological thinking.Only the representation of the world as his home, a sense of unity with it leads to a life of harmony.Feeling this edinstvashpredelyaetsya bonding.The ratio of bonding with the mother gives the ratio of bonding with the world, his immediate feeling, intuitive perception.

simple attitude attachment makes this intuitive feeling, which later forced to compensate intelligence.Intelligence is becoming the main tool for understanding the world.This built our entire culture.Try, however, to understand the intelligence of the newborn.Perhaps you too will come to the conclusion that it is better to separate from the mother.

modern attitude towards childbirth and early infancy leads to the fact that from generation to generation we lose bonding relationships, leaving only one simple attachment.This affects the character of the relations of people with each other and with nature, forming contemporary culture.But although the bonding has a biological basis, should abstain always remember that man has tremendous creative force - his consciousness.Conscious parenting, parenting mission awareness and spirit of the child - is a process closely related to pereosoznaniem his life in general.Pereosoznanie This creates prerequisites for bonding.The relationship between mother and child is always there.And even in the most adverse conditions (for example, separation of mother and child), his attitude, proper psychological attitude, his spiritual mother state can fill the communication needs content.