Does your child need for the successful development of family caregivers

now turn to comprehend and even self-evident things like: why do we need a growing male-female children and parents - restless rebyatnya?

It turns out that this question is not so simple and unambiguous.Doubt on whether a child needs for a successful development of it was his, family or caregivers can entrust the education of special workers-professionals who will be able to carry a baby to adulthood more wisely, consciously, to argue this - more than one thousand years.

Even in ancient Greece, Plato, following Socrates, argued: all the evil of the world, the selfishness of men, their class inequality grow primarily because of the presence of unequal conditions for education of children in families.Immoderate love of parents for their own fumes breeds individualism, greed, and other properties that keep people apart, generating hostility between them.Subsequent philosophers and teachers did not escape his attention this problem, although the situation was assessed differently.

Baptist scientific commu

nism, particularly valued by Marx and Engels French Enlightenment believed that the family should be freed from the heavy household and respectively from the ownership of movable and immovable property, which give rise to unhealthy instincts require enhanced competition, destroying spontaneity and selflessness of human feelings andrelationship.At the disposal of the family, in their view, should be left only personal items: underwear, clothing, the most necessary utensils.Everything else should belong to the community.Children only in early infancy to live and grow up in the house of the parents.Then they need to be brought up in public institutions for children to overcome the heterogeneity of education, to create for each little citizen of the same conditions.

Even 15-20 years ago, there was an opinion of some scientific authorities, that the state should take over the education of children "from the cradle to the university."In recent years, scientists have changed the judgment on this point, because convinced by experience: the love of parents, their constant communication with their children are no less important for kids than air and sunlight.The harmonious development of the child is unthinkable without the family education, which should be accompanied and supported by the public, and to contrast these two forms at least unwise.

Now pediatricians say that even a few months 'deprivation of love' cause mental, moral and emotional development of a child under the age of three permanent damage.That is, it is in early childhood lays the foundation for all subsequent spiritual life of man, but from the strength of the foundation, from what materials it is complex, and depends on how the construction can then be erected on it, what size and complexity.

Creating a spiritual and emotional basis of personality is the goal, the sense of family education.

- Do all adults, marry and give birth to children who are ready to fulfill this difficult mission and that helps it perform and what hinders?How these questions are answered by science?

begin too with love, with emotion.Now some researchers propose to abandon the maintenance of children in the nursery.Their impatience is understandable: the love brought only love.And what is the most educated, a good teacher can so generously, as the parent, to lavish affection, tenderness, compassion, each of the two dozen children, who make up the nursery.

But while for reasons and educational, and economic, we can not abandon the nursery education.

In all likelihood, the most reasonable position is occupied by those researchers who are left behind by parents the freedom to choose where and how to raise children.However, these researchers are discussed, and it is very important that such a right need economic support.

now made new steps for this: poor families are paid an allowance;birth of a child is given paid leave.There are other benefits.These additional expenditures of the state eventually bring tangible and family and community benefit.

... Without parental love, it's known, the child living with his father, his mother - an orphan.But he did not care about their relationship with each other.However small it may be, and everything is fine feels keenly perceive their own way and quarrel.Here is the opinion of the doctor of pedagogical sciences VI Kochetkov: "The love of parents for each other can become the main educational factor affecting the child.It is the parents' love for each other, not only the love of children.Many mistakes are made by young people at the beginning of family life, but none of them so it is not harmful, as the lack of attention to their own mutual love.When the father and mother love each other, most of them love the child receives.Without it - the entire world pales and no educational measures can not compensate for its effects on the child. "And VASuhomlinskogo believed to teach a child to love, is to teach the most important in life.

In short, parents need the child primarily as a "teacher of love" in the broadest sense of the word.Without parents, it is beyond the power of the most skilful professional teacher.Even if the number of pupils per one teacher, to bring to the family, and then the average level is reached effect, resulting in a homely atmosphere, because there is no light to operate the personal relationship between the parents.And mothers and fathers do a lot to lose if the rejection of children.

«As a child needs to take care of him and it gives him a sense of peace and strength, and a grown man feels the need to take care of a friend, be a support for the weak, feeling so own power and significance.Is most fully manifested precisely in the parent's feelings "- says Kon.

The fact that parents give their children, we are all more or less aware.But not always accurately represent older: the children themselves are required, which gave life.

Tolstoy has this entry: "Assuming that humanity would consist billion immortal beings, whose number could not be any increase or decrease, where we were and what we were, great God!We would have been, without doubt, a thousand times more learned, but a thousand times worse! "He clearly showed that the minutes of waiting, and compassion for the woman in labor, experienced Bolkonsky, Levin, Karenin and Vronsky, purified souls of men from the petty passions, bygreed and anger, such moments makes them human!

But recognition of our contemporaries, the candidate of technical sciences V. Belyanina made in a letter to the author of these lines: "I, for example, quit smoking and get rid of this bad habit easily.I believe that the manifestation of willpower helped my unborn children.Wait, and then the birth of a child is a powerful incentive for the self, the elimination of bad habits, develop patience, which sometimes we are so sorely lacking. "

Father forbids himself what the future will be to prohibit your child - this is the true and only possible morality, that leads to the improvement of all the people and the individual.

- No, today's children are no longer justified.These expenses - manpower and resources - huge, and return something to be seen.

this grumbling you probably have heard, not only by the elderly.Very often there are similar conversations when newlyweds dopekayut seniors to say: why do not hurry to acquire first-born or stayed the same.Once at the time of the spouse's findings-young he said firmly: "I know how my parents had enough of hardship with me.So I voluntarily will not condemn to such testing. "

He began to paint a picture, which would have constituted a society, if everyone were equally selfish.Indeed, what would happen if humanity ceased to reproduce?Inexpedient become all search, research, high art, science - all to anything.Why would they, why "the great and eternal questions" to which we seek answers, if not those to whom they are addressed is usually, if not descendants continue?

nothing left of humanity as live accumulated wealth in history.People undergoing military disasters, always saved most importantly - hope someone will survive, will break, correct their actions, restore destroyed, will create a new, as the people and the children grow up.Childless society will be deprived of consciousness.And what could be more terrible hopelessness?

not give birth to a new man, to abandon sobstvennonogo continue? .. Is it because in many nations revered is a mortal sin that sim decision is taken away from the genus-tribe not only the hope for the future, but also crossed out his past.Do not have sverhmoguchim imagination to imagine what saved our great-great-great ... their own fathers and mothers from famine and pestilence, plague, and by the sword.Great suffering and sacrifices borne by our ancestors, carefully preserved faint light of human life, its fine thread, for what they are, if they so easily can break arm lazy selfish child.

- Again, these eternal categories: the past - the future!- Shouted a young suprug.- Why this craving for global generalizations on private occasions?My solution - a private matter.I did not open the campaign against child-bearing.Look how many complex problems caused a population explosion in the other countries.So it remains to be seen: perhaps I help humanity survive by the fact that it does not continue.And one more thing: I can not exist in three dimensions.I live today, not yesterday and not tomorrow.And I do not see that in this today being my child would bring me anything but trouble and worry.

crowd gathered well-read, and laid each known information.Some said that somehow the very nature adjusts the amount of the possible and necessary in the world population.Others recalled the regulatory policies of some states.The conversation gradually went into general theoretical distance.But suddenly entered he was silent still woman of indeterminate age, but, apparently, a great and very easy experience.She turned to the young man:

- You say that he had seen how the kids have prevented your friends at school, professional achievements, he heard screaming newborn unbearable.Have you heard, you know how to shout unborn children? ..

These words, spoken quietly, as if all stunned.

- your private affair, you say?- He continued to deprive his wife zhenschina.- A senior human happiness: to wear under her heart, grow, love, faint and revive with the baby - whose right it?And stripped of its own, and Zhenya's parents pleasures that bring the grandchildren, let joy and anxiety and expensive, but there are no replaceable!You saw your mother looks into the wrong carriage?And then the same will look and your pretty and yet carefree "little wife", as you call it.That's when she heard, and you along with it, the voices of those who do not have one she could give the world and you.As rightly noted philosopher: "If the age of forty person room is not filled with children's voices, it is filled with nightmares."

- It's a low blow!- I flared up guy and went out, slamming the door.

This conversation leads to serious reflections.Not only because he has found a twist: from universal, global problems - to the personal fate.And because the disputing parties are correct in their own way.

The young man is right in saying that not all can and must prove by contradiction.What will happen if he does not acquire a child, he was clearly demonstrated in the historical and on a personal level.But no one said that he would give a child this year.Let

and we ask this question: what do you want children?

... In the epilogue to "The Kreutzer Sonata" Tolstoy pointed to a feature of civilized peoples: the growth of education, culture and the general welfare changes look at the children, evaluation of their role in the relations between the spouses."... In our society, due to the back of the same false importance attached to carnal love, the birth of children has lost its meaning and, instead of being the purpose and justification of marital relations, has become an obstacle to the continuation of a pleasant romantic relationship ...".

And the current problems of family researchers note that the first child often give birth to the couple not for its own sake, not in order to taste the joys of fatherhood and motherhood.Polls mothers reveal the following picture: many young women say they decided to give birth because "it happened", an abortion is terrible, but to give birth - not ochen.To there is just one case, which we have already discussed: the first-born in the young -"surprise" unexpected gift.Parents are not up to it.They busy themselves and each other.The heightened attention to who and what he said, looked like he had bought, often drowning, missing those countless and thoughtful little things that a child full time and standby time of its growth.

mother of ten children, Sc.D. MP Kolpakova admitted in a television interview she had not experienced all the severity and importance of maternal experiences with the advent of the first child.But the second she opened and it opened this special world hitherto unknown feelings.But, in all probability, the parent "insensitivity", which visited before and now not uncommon, is a consequence of a certain emotional unpreparedness of young women is a maternal mission.And the young mother useful prompt: what and how to look, what to see, hear?Such knowledge is a natural instinct for procreation is not given.A surrounding counselors longer teach young mothers child health, teach him how to walk, play, t. E. Again, learn to give your child, but do not learn to take from him.Teach works of motherhood, rather than a joy.

particular importance is the appearance of the child in families where the couple are not united by common professional interests, have different preferences and hobbies.Their former, pre-marital affection too, pointing in different directions;to their own relatives, who may for a long time and are strangers to each other, and for each of the "half."All this is often "works" on the spiritual and emotional isolation of the young couple.Joint child immediately makes all these people their families, honeymooners and not just lovers, but really related.So, the most child gives their parents and the parents of the parents a sense of community concerns, desires and interests.

«Expectant mother can not worry", "lactating women need special conditions, mode, peace" - is often heard the young couple.And more or less prepared for the role of the father of a young man tries to remove tensions.And at such a time getting used to the idea that women should be protected from unnecessary stimuli.So, has not appeared or just born baby already gives mother a sense of her own special significance, as it hides her from all evils and insults.A father gives you the opportunity to demonstrate their generosity, feel the defense and helps him exercise in generosity, in tolerance and endurance.

All these qualities are very useful and necessary not in some personal relationship between husband and wife, but also in any professional activity.After all, in the workplace, women often suffer from a lack of these traits and character properties of their male counterparts.The smaller children in the house, the less similar and moral experience, the more we feel the shortage of these qualities.

repays for children that adults teach them many things and spend time and energy, charm purity immediacy.And he also taught senior sincerity, mercy and democracy.

«Uncle, and you - the fool?" - Seriously, without malice asks the hero story of Vera Panova "Sergei" respectable man, who had played with him really stupid joke.And my question to explain the true value of the mother "solidity" inflated own arrogance fool."The king is naked!" - Shouts another boy and open the eyes of the whole kingdom."Lips of an infant speaketh the truth," - recognizes and folk wisdom.Let parents often get angry at "undiplomatic" children, even punished for the fact that they "do not know how to behave," ie. E. To pretend like he was punished and Panofsky Sergei, but because thanks to them and adults receive their sight, return to common sense,which lose sometimes under the influence of mass hypnosis, such as that possessed by people in Andersen's fairy tale "The dress of the King."

Tolstoy has a story, a parable, "The strength of the child."Tolstoy offers the reader to understand this situation.And further.