Grandmothers and grandfathers
It is no exaggeration to say that our age has increased extraordinarily and thus magnified two periods in human life: childhood and old age.
People have long underestimated the importance of childhood for the subsequent development of the individual.But old age is considered only as a result of life.And so these two periods of special attention of researchers were not spoiled.And I learn something there was no one.Life expectancy in pre-revolutionary Russia was very low: the average male life expectancy was barely more than 30 years, women have lived for two or three years longer.
This, of course, does not mean that all residents died young or mature in summer.Life expectancy figures are derived from statistical data, captures all birth and death.This means that the average number is, the smaller the higher mortality, not only in adulthood but also in childhood.In prerevolutionary Russia, the infant mortality rate was very high.Because the average life expectancy was disappointingly low and the elderly
Today the number of elderly people is growing even faster than the number of births.It is no accident demographers talk about the aging of our population.In 1939, the Soviet Union was less than 7% of the population older than 60 years.In 1970, they have become around 12%.Demographers predict that by the beginning of the next century, this figure will rise to 17%.
increase in the proportion of elderly people creates problems that do not exist in earlier times: society needs to clarify and strengthen the place and the importance of seniors in social and family life, maintain their health, to organize activities, rest and meaningful communication.
peak of human life and labor activity of many modern researchers believe 40-45 years.During the fifties, as a rule, the decline begins.And that is remarkable: in this case, as it were in the form of an inverted repeat the stages of formation of the human person.
At the top, at the peak years - a surge of strength and abilities, there comes a "second youth".And the man and woman would like bloom again.This is a proven fact: almost all areas of social labor by leading experts, leaders of the groups are the people whose whiskey zaporoshila thick gray hair.The presidium meeting, conferences, award lists above all they are.
Get accustomed to the current journey and the journey, visitors to the museums, the Philharmonic, festivals - there is also a significant proportion of the audience is quite solid.A look back at the avid gardeners, amateur craftsmen, needle and home inventors clubs participants, studios ... Sometimes you just have marveled: how they managed to keep the power, curiosity, passion, greed to all unusual?
explanation can be found in their family and social position: the social position quite firmly, resolved the most pressing problems of everyday life (income, housing, etc...), The children become adults, they took off the burden of care from the shoulders of parents.Well, live and be happy, implements all the aspirations and interests, which in earlier times had neither the time nor the means of physical and material.Happy time ... for those who are on the road to it has not lost its soul energy and not squandered it in pursuit of imaginary values and pleasures.
Then comes the time of the gradual decline of vitality.To many returns "Teenager" is time-depth understanding of human purpose in life, with only "reverse perspective" - a not to stare into the future and into the past.
Some dramatically going through this time.More and more cases and pleasure, about which speak: it is not for me.Again, as in adolescence, increases the "scissors" between "can" and "I want": teenagers still can not make a lot of things that they want, and the aging person can not implement many desires.
And again, as in the old year, plagued by obvious changes in appearance are not the best.The only difference is that teens these changes are temporary, and the old man - forever.With the fear of peers, he (she) is in its brutal honesty mirror.Teen notices disfiguring his face all sorts of pimples and spots, the elderly - wrinkles, sagging skin and lethargy, mutneyuschy eye color.
particularly hard these changes experienced by women.
Whose unfamiliar face staring at her from the mirror?Who is this woman?As she should behave: how to dress, comb, move, talk?Dont clear.The crisis of the genre.
hot rush of blood to the head, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, increased nervousness and crying (especially in women) - these are the symptoms of this condition.Sometimes it turns into a serious health disorder.And if teenagers flour last 2-3 years, the climax (so called in the medical condition of the body like aging people) in some women is delayed by 5-8 or even 10 years.
And here I want to say about the attitude of others to "transition to adulthood".If the body experiences a young soul and flour burgeoning adults understand and try to make it easier - remember myself at that age, the age of the young especially the elderly, as a rule, do not know anything, that's why do not sympathize.Sometimes think that just the "old" spoils character.
Like any age, old age causes different emotions.Do you remember how he wrote about her young Gogol's poem "Dead Souls": "... everything can happen to a man.Present the fiery young man jumped to with horror if he showed his own portrait in his old age ... "And so on, to see the words of the terrible ruthlessness of old age, which, according to the young writer, worse than death itself.
But get a grasp, think about it in the testimony of a man, dozhivshego to those years of age who are not aware of external and premature judgments.Writer Veresaev, not once mentioned in our conversations, quite a different opinion on this subject: "We all grow in contempt for old age and in horror before her.But if I had known - and who knows in his youth?- If I knew then itself by what nestrashno by what a joyful and beneficial this can be terrible old age ..
remember crumpled youth anxiety, aching flour pride, wildly swelling painful growths on the heart, raging dark, degrading body passion, eyeless throwing!in the midst of questions surround, misunderstanding and an inability approaches to life ...
And now some strong shield covered herself the soul, is not so easy to hurt its external troubles, insults, blows to the ego, in the hands as a reliable compass;not afraid surrounded the thicket;vigilantly become spiritual eyes, in my heart - the clarity, strength and gratitude for life.
... Yes, maybe, if I knew the youth, which can be illuminated by lifting the spirit of the age, - maybe it would be less carefree "burns" itself ... squandered all the power - and then come to mutnoglazoy old, spit, choking with disgust slack lip and dark face.And speaking of his youth: "Old age - it's terrible, damn it's time to human life."
Similar opinions can be found in many of the wise old men, who entered into this long, much longer than the youth of his life, not squandered wealth allotted by nature and upbringing cultivated: the body, the mind, the human heart.
said: youth - is retribution.Perhaps it can be said about a good old age: it is - a reward for fair, reasonable and heart those years.
fair and another judgment: "A man as old as he feels."And old age - not age and state of health: physical, intellectual and emotional.And in your own experience tell me: Who from your immediate environment can be attributed to the young, despite the long and difficult a biography on his shoulders, and who for the elderly, waiting pension, although a back is not bent in the public field and nothing good in it is not raised.There are in fact among your peers, young elders: seemingly have all experienced, all know and are tired of Mnogoznanie, frustrated in life, grumbling at its imperfection.They were to "mutnoglazoy" senility oh-oh how to go, and they too skeptical eyes muddied and white light to look reluctant.Here are some who regret it!
But it is a distraction from the main subject of the conversation.
Modern young people blindly call their parents and the elderly feel that they themselves have already exhausted, got rid of all the desires and interests, except for one: how best to arrange their offspring, nurture and agukat grandchildren.Many newlyweds do not wish to delve into what is converted to the grandparents of the people and society, and nature has not yet been written off either as employees or as men and women.
Many conflicts occur in newly formed families because of the misunderstanding of the status "old", the characteristics of their psychology.
- Grandma , what are you doing plyashesh?Grandma is not allowed to dance!- To be ashamed of his granddaughter sorokapyatiletney granny, who looked very young, attractive woman and, indeed, forgetting about their "rank", famously danced fashioned dance at a family celebration.
- Look, our old people - there, singing about love!- Ironically the young couple saw an acute sensitivity to the coquetry of grandmothers and grandfathers gallantry almost forgetting the moral norms of behavior of older people, something indecent.
What are they drawn picky and jealous gaze of current young and grown children, modern and grandparents, and what it actually is?
In fairy tales, according to popular legend grandmother - it's the Old Testament old woman quietly and tirelessly, like a mouse scurrying around the house, all catering to and do not need anything in return, mistress cook and weave, sew and knit, skillful bard byley and fantastic story, writer of tenderlullaby, help children and grandchildren the joy, good conscience and the light house.A grandfather - by itself - omniscient, gray beard, with a sly squint eye, too restless craftsman home and philosopher.
True, so common in the past and faces is not met at every step.Live nature and characters are always more difficult to idealized representations.Even so dearly beloved, what was the grandmother Alesha Peshkov, bears little resemblance to the iconic face.A grandfather Kashirin - downright evil dwarf.Apparently, the historical experience of the people's life took all the most-the most important thing needed for better execution of these roles when he created fabulous types.
I want to draw attention to a linguistic feature.In English, French, German no word similar to ours - "grandmother".There it is called the "big mother", ie. E. Denotes its function, its dominant position in the family.As you can see, in this definition, there is no emotional coloring, related to the one that is mom mom and dad.
Russian word with a diminutive suffix "ushk" like, on the contrary, diminishing the scale of its shape and significance, at the same time it raises on a pedestal of love.It is no accident in the dictionary Dahl this word 12 variations of the same cozy, tender, and only one - "grandmother" - angular-rough.
Why is this?Known language reflects the current practice of relations.And all of our traveling and wandering noted unusual for us, especially European and American life: detachment of the older generation of adult children and grandchildren.
truth, and we have recently appeared women who are in no hurry to put on my grandmother's bonnet and even shy of the title.Take a look at their age and state of health in your life - and all will become clear.Grandmothers are in 28 years (registered such cases), and 35-40, and further to a record period of earthly existence.Therefore equally valid words that the modern woman's grandmother, nothing is alien, including love experiences, the desire to have fun, dress up.That's right, and what her age, senile deficiencies may be inherent.Both opinions are legitimate, but only with an exact stipulation that they belong to different categories of grandparents.
average life expectancy of women today is kept at around 75 years.This means that, by becoming a grandmother, they often remain daughters, daughters-aged parents.Who has not experienced this, do not understand how such a fact acting on the health of women.While there are people in the world that are calling you "daughter", you're still young, you still all ahead!
matter how many generations after you no closer.And any woman her inner psychological state is reflected in the strongest terms of physiology, on the exterior.
Very often young and grandma look like their older sisters adult daughters.And sports figures, smart, and on the face of cosmetics, and clothing is no different from the youth.And this is understandable: the grandmother very often work together with young people, and no one makes discounts "to age", their solid position.
And about grandparents and say nothing.They are in the past, and even more so now do not want to give youth.
..Glavny watershed that defines the types of grandparents, passes between workers and retirees.This is often even more important than age differences.With all the brilliant external position of the working surroundings "old" more difficult, if not almost the most intense than that of other family members.I would call this time of suffering.In the field of life acts the same order and the regime, as in the arable land.In springtime: plowing and seeding, intonation major affairs and relationships, fun, carefree time.Raise sown summer, enjoy the power, heat, light feeling, believe that this riot of colors, juice would be no limit.Autumn mix everything: joy and fear, pride and despair, paint her delirious beauty some causes.One word: it's time to a breakthrough.Here it is - a welcome harvest, clean it gratifying and sad, and sometimes - hacking.
See.Parents to this term, as we have said, reach the top of professional skills.Accordingly, the highest earnings in the family often have.Hence the appearance in the house of the little creature that requires care and attention, the young mother often even speech not start that the grandmother was left with her granddaughter and grandson at home, and it will work.It is not justified by the interests of the obschesemeynymi.And monetary losses will be large, and the business and prestige.Finally, the older mother is necessary to earn a pension, to ensure the existence of the fact for a long time, when she gets home.
So often young mothers now sew and knit, tell tales and scurry around the house.And many grandmothers once to do it.
True, much of grandparents lives and acts just under the traditional rules.They have over the years, the house occupies a large part of the time and effort.With work, they do not know the other way, except for the grandchildren to school in kindergarten or nursery, to the skating rink or the zoo.And there is no other entertainment at home, in addition to sitting watching TV, which programs they primarily seek "malyshovom" transmission.
it possible to consider such a flawed way of life?Hardly;to each his own.Just today offers a choice of behavior without imposing strict regulations and commitment.
rush on professional working grandparents superimposed weight of family responsibilities, too, only this characteristic pore.Suddenly grow old until recently such vigorous, independent and active parents, the ones they could also be called "old", thus separating themselves from the people of this title.What is the care for the chronically ill, the elderly infirm, explain the painful and not say it is impossible.Who has not experienced the slow extinction of a loved one, all the problems visiting hospitals, and combining these concerns with the service, will not understand what falls on the shoulders especially daughters.
Diseases elderly, especially their death, slowly and painfully experienced by aging children.Perhaps harder than the loss of youth.Youth does not know, does not feel the loss of scale, her grief distracts and entertains the prospect of a long life.And then there is the consciousness that his departure parents rented a barrier enclosing you from the yawning abyss of nothingness.And you are left alone with those about behind their back and not have to think ...
parents of today's young grandmothers go into eternal nowhere, leaving his graying children faced with the question: what is all the visible signs of prosperity, rank andtitle, homes, apartments, things, money?They are there to be tangible, physical evidence of their earthly existence, more important than children and grandchildren?