Parents can and should ask their adult sensitive issues ( Socrates ) and provide useful Ying
And adult children have the right to use it, or, or, perhaps, ignore it.They have a right to make mistakes, even tragic.
Young people often seek to quickly link their fate in marriage.Found nakonetstaki each other at the disco, in high school, at work ... and try to isolate themselves from the older zagsovskoy "ksivu": everything - we are married, do not meddle with us.Now we have the right to have sex as we want, and we will all live as we want.
But older "climb".That young married.Where do they live now?Yes, most often in the home of his or her parents.Rarely they rent an apartment, even rarer jointly bought a new apartment for them.Anyway, a young married couple it is certainly dependent on the elder.Both willingly or often grumbling help.By investing in the young capital, senior control them: how to spend the money, if not on the small stuff, or buy, whether to go there ...
Young people do not like it.Hence - the conflicts.The young want to get paid, but do not want to receive teachings."Teaches
gradually in young people increased income, they become independent.And begins to resist moralizing.Sometimes, rather tartly.Now they can no longer even refuse to help, but would not hear the reproach that does not go to
parents' money.The parents of this offense.There comes a certain alienation.Then the parents are addicted to their belated entertainment - resorts, travel.Hooray - freedom.And the young people enjoyed their freedom.
takes time - and to you, the miracle - appeared child.Older parents survived happiness: no offspring, and a miracle - endows his undershirts, rattles, baby carriage.But parents like their freedom.And there are some grandson - once a month with a toy, tied with gift ribbon ... And here begins: ear, abdomen, immunizations, diaper ... Young now need everyday and, unfortunately, routine care, not admiring "utyutyushenki"... They have matured, they are no longer to discos, not even to meet with former friends, to sleep ... They asked the parents, and they come with another cake are now every three weeks ( "see, we often do to you").And if you sat with a descendant, then let us for it, well, not the order, but the medal.
And what happened?Again, increasing irritation with disapproval, ■ ing older parents.In addition, if they sit with a child and then zalaskivayut it.In contrast to his mother, who NoNo prikriknet and the grandmother only lisp it seems kinder.And the methods of education and information, which are investing in the older child, do not cause the approval of the young.Irritation grows.
And time goes by.For older parents grew old, in need of assistance.Pensiito miserable and in need of care - have become infirm.A younger parents matured.Revenues have grown.But in the best case they come to the senior once a month with a traditional cake, gift bandaged ribbon.And at worst - sit in Daddy.Everything returns to normal ...
Aw, do not pochelovecheski somehow ...
It is necessary to establish a process of mutual understanding between the ages of a family.But to establish such contact psychotechnics have to talk a lot, and we again refer to a long conversation on this subject in my "Labyrinth of communication."
And here will try to talk about what's left overs.
older parents need to take adequate To increase the independence of the young couple.It would make sense to recognize the autonomy of young people and to establish normal mutual aid.Live Better not together, but close, to help