Communication with older children
If you aspire to adult relationships with their adult children, you have to treat them as adults.I understand that it looks like something taken for granted, but in reality it can be not so easy.You so many years gave instructions to them unsolicited advice, belief system, rules and so on, that this style of communication has become virtually unconscious for you.And now you have to re-learn, and it will not be easy at first.
Of course, the sooner you start to loosen its control even when your kids were teenagers, the easier it will be to you now.And even in this case, you still have to change a lot in dealing with them.No one expects you to, that you immediately succeed.The main thing - to know what to strive for, and not to retreat until you reach desired.Train not indicate children that do not express their disapproval about their clothing style, preferences in the opposite sex, and so on.
Half transition to adult style of communication - it is the termination of certain actions on your part: from gu
But the second half for the fact that you, on the contrary, should start doing.In particular, talk to your children about what usually talk with your friends.To communicate with children on an equal footing, you have to turn a blind eye to the gap between generations, that is, to perceive their opinion in the same way as you perceive the view of other adults - no matter on what issue: global warming events in the Premier League, the upcoming elections or planting onions in the garden.
also ask the children Board.I am sure there are many things that they know more than you.Car repair, fashion, photography, application, model trains, birdwatching, pottery ... I do not know what else you're interested in.And, of course, new items of computer and other equipment - but this, I think you started to consult with them for a long time.
After some time, this style of communication should become second nature to you, but first you have to apply to this conscious effort, otherwise nothing will happen.And you even can not imagine how proud will experience your kids when you're interested in their opinions and treat them as adults - unless your parents at the time did not do the same against you, then you have to remember howit is important.